Easter Bunny Bootcamp

Cornerstone Community News, Vol. 1, Issue 4

As the Easter holiday fast approaches, the newest selection of Easter Bunnies are finishing there last minute drills and preparations for their big day. Will Shutter, our resident photographer and sometimes reporter here in the Cornerstone Community, recently visited the local training facility here on the Cumberland Plateau. Will said that he was astonished at how much training these bunny candidates endure in order to get the baskets and eggs delivered on time.

Training starts in January and lasts 12 weeks. Specially chosen candidates are taught skills such as basket building, egg safety, egg dying, Easter egg hiding, chocolate care, jelly bean distribution, and proper basket delivery. Will Shutter tried to get and interview from one of the candidates for this story, but was informed that Easter Bunnies do not talk. Will went on to say, they handled themselves like militia, and had no doubt the baskets would be on time this year.
Cornerstone Fictional News, sometimes on Wednesdays, by the Buzzard

Flash 55 Friday - We are talking about respect...

I am not just another bitch, and will not be treated like one. Am I asking too much, when I say, show a little respect for my position? Blot out from your mind any idea of superiority, you have none. All I ask is that you respect me for what I am, a human being.

If you share your life with a pet, you know they become more than just pets in the course of things. To some, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly. Although the picture is not of one of my dogs, she does represent the attitude and persona of our female.
Friday Flash 55 is a fifty-five word story posted every Friday. To join in the fun, create and write any story you like in 55 words; no more, no less. Using this link, tell Mr. Knowitall a.k.a. the G-Man, by leaving a comment on his own Flash 55 post.

Buzzard

It's perspective

It's all about perspective. No matter what it is, religion, politics, money, love, school, work, relationships, parenting, blogging, inappropriate, funny, good, evil, it's all about perspective.


Things that taste like piss today in no particular order.
Politics
Television Choices
The forecast (rain today)
Physical rehab
Banks
My attitude

Another Wise Word Award

I was catching up on comments left for my Friday Flash 55, and found another wonderful Wise Words Award passed on to me by PattiKen. Thank you Patti for your gracious acknowledgment.

Buzzard

Wise Words Award - Recepient

I am extremely grateful for the "Wise Words Award" given to me by Jingle for my recent Flash Friday 55 Post.

Wise words seem to escape me when I write what a talented and thoughtful community "Mr. Knowitall has discovered in his creation of Friday Flash 55. The community encourages and supports all submissions, and I am fortunate to be just one of many participants.
Thanks, Jingle!

Buzzard

Weekly Funny... A Texas Teacher

This weeks funny, was sent to me by my wife.

Did you hear about the teacher in Texas who was helping one of her kindergarten students put his cowboy boots on?

He asked for help and she could see why...

Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said, 'Teacher, there on the wrong feet.' She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time, on the right feet...

He then announced, 'These aren't by boots...'

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, 'Why Didn't You Say So?' like she wanted to. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his feet. No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said, ' There my brother's boots. My mom made me wear them.'

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his little feet again.

Helping him into coat, she asked, 'Now, where are your mittens?'

He said, 'I stuffed em in the toes of my boots.'

She will be eligible for parole in three years!

Flash 55 Friday - My Invisibility

A young boy's fantasy, inspired by 10Cent comic books, read as a child.
Was there a drug he should take, an invisibility cream, or maybe a disappearing ray?
Could it be true?
Was it possible a person could wander the streets invisible to the world?
It was much later in life, when he discovered invisibility.

Friday Flash 55 is a fifty-five word story posted every Friday. To join in the fun, create and write any story you like in 55 words; no more, no less. Using this link, tell Mr. Knowitall a.k.a. the G-Man, by leaving a comment on his own Flash 55 post.

Buzzard

Publishing Cornerstone Community News...

Cornerstone Community News, Vol. 1, Issue 3

I usually publish Cornerstone Community News on Wednesday here on the plateau, but sometimes events take a turn, one way or another. That's what happened last Wednesday, events took the "or another" turn. You see it was a half way decent day for a change, so many of us in the community decided we needed to take a "me" day. Up on the plateau, that usually means the men go do their thing, and the women do whatever the hell women do when men aren't around.
This last week Wednesday, the men all decided to go down to Doohan's pond and fish a while, whilst the women decided they wanted to try a mud wrap, and spent the afternoon over at Barb E. Dahl's day spa, just off Hunter Cove road. A great time was had by both groups, and I would like to give special thanks to Will Shutter for the photos he provided.

I can't say the fishin was good, but we all enjoyed casting a few around the pond. Mike Long had the furthest cast of the day. Miss Tanya Hyde said everyone she talked with, enjoyed the peaceful and tranquil feeling of being pampered at a spa. Tanya went on to praise Ms Dahl for turning the old poultry barn and farm into something special for the girls.

As editor of our weekly news updates, it is necessary to announce a change in my publishing policy due to recent activities. I may or may not publish on Wednesdays in coming weeks. Depending on my mood that day, or how the fish are biting, or what condition my condition is in, I could publish on any damn day of the week. However, that is not so unusual here in the Cornerstone Community; a community though small in size, proudly celebrates the ideology and traditions of a nation. Like all Americans, we believe in doing what we please, when we please.

Cornerstone Fictional News, sometimes on Wednesdays, by the Buzzard

Flash 55 Friday - A Familiar Face...

Such a familiar face, the woman shopping in the store.
I remembered her, that little girl who once lived next door.
Long ago rivals, I watched her naively bend down toward the floor.
I smiled, inspired, I took her cart and ran for the door.
Little rotten Ronnie chanced to be mean just once more.

Friday Flash 55 is a fifty-five word story posted every Friday. To join in the fun, create and write any story you like in 55 words; no more, no less. Using this link, tell Mr. Knowitall a.k.a. the G-Man, by leaving a comment on his own Flash 55 post.

Buzzard

Flash 55 Friday - Shirt Tales

This week's Flash 55, is a 2fer readers choice. I have taken one picture and developed two 55's for it. My wife suggested to name them, "Shirt Tales". I am interested in which story you liked best.
Enjoy!

Clothed in Love
The morning air, so fresh and clean;
a day spent hanging out together, just the two of them.
Warm gentle breezes swirling to and fro;
neither afraid of being carried away in the moment.
He was thankful to touch something soft with his outstretched arms.
She was relieved it wasn't just another stuffed shirt experience!





Dirty Laundry
It wasn't their dirty little secret any longer.
Now it was out in the open for all to see.
He tried to take her into his arms.
Reluctantly she pulled away.
Was she hanging him out to dry?
Had he been using the same old line?
Maybe, she didn't want to be pinned down anymore.

Friday Flash 55 is a fifty-five word story posted every Friday. To join in the fun, create and write any story you like in 55 words; no more, no less. Using this link, tell Mr. Knowitall a.k.a. the G-Man, by leaving a comment on his own Flash 55 post.

It's all your fault....

Sometimes you have to dig a little deeper to find out what's causing a bad mood. I admit to irritability, and at times being a little moody; but hard to please? I don't think so.

Nevertheless, the blame for these conditions can now be set straight, and once we get past the blame, (which is hard to do) there is a simple remedy. The advertisement (featured to the left), although granted, it is a little dated, is far ahead of its time period. The forward thinking writers of this article knew that a well balanced meal was important in keeping a man's disposition in good order. Almost every day there is something about the importance eating correctly featured at both the local and national news levels. A well-balanced meal is needed to keep the human machine in good working order. So with that said, "Wives, It's All Your Fault."

Buzzard
President of the "Don't Blame Me Society"
Charter member of "It's Not My Fault Association"
Founder of the, "I Didn't Do It Clubs of America"

Taking care of the step children...

Cornerstone Community News Vol. 1, Issue 3

Local resident Harry Sachs is well known in the Cornerstone Community for his affinity for wildlife. He can be found tending his bird and squirrel feeders year round, but pays special attention to his pet squirrel, he playfully nicknamed “Rooster” (pictured above left). Mr. Sachs said when he first met ole Rooster, “he was raiding the bird feeders faster than I could fill them up. I decided that my efforts might be better served by setting a squirrel feeder up on the porch.” Mr. Sachs went on to say, “It wasn’t long until him, and I became good friends. There’s just something special about the little man.”

Harry’s wife Minnie said “with the exception of Rooster’s little girlfriend, that squirrel is like a watchdog for our bird feeders. He just won’t allow another squirrel anywhere around the house.” “Barks like a dog sometimes,” Harry commented. “Looks like Minnie and I have adopted a couple of step children now.”

The couple said they prepare a mix of corn, sunflower seeds, and peanuts still in the shell to feed Rooster and his little female friend during the winter months. Harry said, “Squirrels like acorn nuts the best. With all these huge Oaks in the yard, ole Rooster always seems to be toting a couple of big ones around."

You can find the Cornerstone Community located on the Cumberland Plateau. Although a small community, we are proud to represent the ideology and traditions, which are the Cornerstone of life here on the Cumberland Plateau.

Cornerstone Community Fictional News Wednesday, by the Buzzard